


Best pickup line?

by Zip001



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hockey, figure skating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 08:14:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8741998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zip001/pseuds/Zip001
Summary: Sandor is a hockey player, and Sansa is a figure skater. Will their story be like the movie "Cutting Edge"? (Answer: no, there will be almost no edge, just pure fluff).Warning: fluff ahead (sugary sweet).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mademoiselle_k](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mademoiselle_k/gifts).



It was finally lunch break. That meant Jon's cousin Sansa was going to bring Jon his lunch, usually a hearty stew with fresh baked bread or a steak sandwich with a beet salad. She would also bring the guys her world famous cookies, lemon bars that Tormund swore was the best, coconut macaroons that Bronn would inhale (he said that they were gluten free which meant he could eat as much as he wanted of them - Sandor was no dietician but knew that was such bullshit), and his favorite dark chocolate brownies that he thought contained more than a healthy splash of bourbon.

He knew that he was being ridiculous as he tried to clean up a bit, staunch the nosebleed that started when arse SmallJon threw a dirty elbow into his face. But he knew that he was not alone as many of the guys, even the married ones, were furiously straightening their hair and wiping away blood. They wanted to look presentable for Sansa Tullier-Stark, Canada's number one female figure skater (and former member of Canada's number one junior figure skating pairs team until she broke up with her cunt of a partner, Joffrey Baratheon).

Team Canada hockey coaches loved her - her father was the great scorer Ned Stark who with the help of Robert Baratheon, his enforcer, was a hockey legend. Ever since she and her siblings were children, they practically lived in the rink. She knew everyone from the rink manager, the dude who drove the Zamboni machine, the people who cleaned the bathrooms, everybody. And she had the same beautiful smile for everyone even though he wanted to believe that it was a special smile only for him.

Sandor still remembered when he first met her. She was already an ice princess, so full of grace, long lines, deep edges, spins, athletic jumps - the full skating package. And he was just some overgrown boy who barely could skate - he had to borrow skates (which were a size too small). Yet she would talk to him, tell him about the pretty bird or flower she saw, and giggled when he called her little bird because she chirped so much. And she refused to called him the Hound, his nickname given to him by his brother, but instead called him Sandy.

When she saw that some of the older skaters, including his older brother, were bullying him and beating him up behind the trash area, those boys were immediately dismissed from the junior Olympics team and sent back home. If only for that, she would have his undying devotion. 

Sansa even noticed that his skates were too small and somehow every member of the team ended getting new skates. It was when his laces broke that she found out his skates were too small. She gave him her pink wax laces, and she proceeded to lace up both of his skates with her laces. He could still remember verbatim her words - "OMG, proper lacing is the most important thing!" She was on the ground grumbling as she looked at his old laces that were loose and not even. 

"Wax laces - they grip. The laces have to be tight, not like this. Bah!" 

Then she noticed how the top of his skate looked weird as his big toe was curled in and totally scrunched. When she tightened the laces, he almost cried in pain. 

"Goodness!"

She did not even curse Sandor fondly remembered (she only started after she went out with that cunt). Then she immediately stopped and just stared at him apologetically and loosen the laces. Sandor saw her talking to his coaches and their eyes looking at him. The next day her father gave new skates to each kid and three extra sets of wax laces. But the only laces he kept all those years were her pink laces. He wore them under his jersey - he sewed a sad excuse for a pocket to carry them next to his heart. Every clean hit he made he thought of his little bird, thinking of the cunt that had his friends beat her. But in practice, he eased up - they were his team (they were her team as she was pretty much a member of the team).

Like always, after she handed Jon his lunch as the other guys ribbed him mercilessly (but were totally envious), she amicably chatted with each player, until she saw him and sat down right next to him.

"Little bird," he greeted her.

"Hey, I saw that elbow. You did good in not retaliating as you were a man down."

She did the cutest side eye as SmallJon who actually looked sad. Fuck, Sandor knew how he would feel if Sansa were to give him her stink eye - poor bastard! Look he understood why SmallJon had to do it - it was a good tactical move since if he retaliated, he would be in the pen and the other side would have had a two man advantage. 

"Yeah, but it was a good move on his part."

"Father would not have done it," she insisted.

"Because you know FatBob would have done it in his stead."

She tried to not snicker as her father's best friend totally let himself go.

"Hey, be nice."

"Little bird, you know me, I am an arse."

"A nice arse," she mumbled.

"Did you just say that I have a nice arse?" he teased her.

Squatting him in mock anger, she told him to shut it. But he could see her eyes still laughing and the pretty blush that covered her face and down to her chest.

To this day, he did not know what made him blurt, "You have a cute ass."

It was his turn to have his ugly mug turn a beet red. Fuck, that was the worst possible compliment, only slightly better than "your jugs are nice", a line his older brother used in the bars. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

He tried to apologize but before he could, Sansa whispered whether he tried to look under her short skating skirt because she wouldn't mind if he did.

And that pickup line was how they started dating. They went on their first date to a Dairy Queen because she was addicted to Rocky Road Brownie Blizzard (that she doctored with a splash of bourbon). And then he treated her right when he got picked by Montreal Canadiens, the NHL team that her Da played with. She and the girls went to almost every home game, and now it was Sansa packing a lunch for him during team training camp, leaving him such racy lunch notes that he could barely concentrate in practice afterwards so he had to put them in that pocket in his jersey to read them afterwards. When he got home, they would have fun reenacting everything she wrote in her notes. 

His girls, his pups, loved the story of how their parents met, guffawing especially at his pick up line, which he said was the best pick up line ever because he scored his Little Bird!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa answers the question that everyone has - why is she with Sandor? Her friend Myranda thinks she knows the answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Mlle Karen, who is super sweet and awesome!
> 
> Although I love kd lang- such an amazing artist, I imagine Sansa skating to this version of the song - https://youtu.be/y8AWFf7EAc4.

Everyone thought they knew the reason why Sansa, the ice princess, was with Sandor, the yeti. 

Myranda was the absolute worst, always asking if it was as big as the rest of him. It being one of the following words: "baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun", that Myranda found on tumblr and used every chance she got.

One day Sansa could not take Myranda's teasing and Mya's knowing looks and responded, "Bigger." All of her friends gasped - Jeyne even whispered a few Hail Marys for her.

But the reasons were much deeper (and that was not an innuendo). 

She always felt comfortable around Sandor ever since she was a little girl. At ten years old (and when she was six), he was big, even bigger than most teens, yet she always felt safe with him - he would never hurt her (at least not intentionally as he did when he told her that her yellow competition dress was ugly). It was always easy to talk to him - he would sometimes tease her but he listened, unlike everyone else who liked her pretty but quiet. He liked to hear his little bird chirp and sing (ok, that was an innuendo - smirk). And he always told her what's what, even when she did not want to hear it. And Sandor was right about Joffrey - he was a cunt, stupid and mean, the worst combination.

When she decided to skate to kd lang's songs instead of skating to the classical music her coach and mother chose, he was right there with her. kd was not only a great singer but a Canadian to boot. And kd's sexuality was a non-issue at least to him - he said those that have a problem, those people are the ones that are the problem and of course, he said that those people should fuck off if they had a problem with her skating to the hauntingly beautiful "Barefoot" in the short program (he loved the haunting wolf howl at the end when she would do her series of spins, that started with a layback spin to a Biellman and then back to a layback and finally to a scratch spin). Love is love is love. And he agreed when she said that.

And she loved Sandor, her Sandy, from the moment she met him. She whisper to Jeyne then that he would be her husband even though Jeyne thought he was too rough and would hurt her - his reputation on the ice as brutal defender preceded him. The others, including her little sister, would exclude her from their games, but he would always skate with her, even do lifts with her when she outgrew her juniors partner. He did not scoff when she gave him scouting reports of players he would be squaring off. Hockey was as much in her blood as figure skating. When as a teen, he dated a string of girls, none good enough for him, her heart broke each time, wishing that Sandor would see her not as his little mascot but as a woman. But when she grew up, he seemed to shrink away from her, thinking that she rather be with the pretty people like Margaery and her friends. Somehow they came together again. 

And yeah, he had a cute ass! And he was proportional in every way she had to admit, blushingly.

So now whenever she skated to Hallelujah in the holiday TV programs, she remembered how blest she was to met her true love at six and married him at twenty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These lyrics reminds me of what I think Sandor would say -
> 
> "I did my best, it wasn't much/  
> I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch/  
> I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you/  
> And even though it all went wrong  
> I'll stand before the lord of song/  
> With nothing on my tongue but hallelujah"


End file.
